Six Amazing Real Housewives of New Jersey Spinoff Ideas!

With the Real Housewives of New Jersey, it really is a family affair. I'm not saying that in reference to everyone on the show being related, but because everything is about family! From family feuds, to family holidays, to awkward family playdates and yes, I'm referring to both to children and the adults, and finally god awful family cookbook photoshoots, family dominates the New Jersey plotlines these days. When Melissa and Teresa aren't pissed at each other (for being the same person) we get a chance to look at the rest of the families lives, and it's quite interesting. It's not interesting in the way Real Housewives defines interesting, because all the Housewives are about these days is yelling over each other, but interesting enough to warrant their own shows without the de facto Real Housewives rules getting in the way. I know that Andy Cohen has said he's not really looking to do more spinoffs and that Bethenny was a special exception but frankly, I refuse to believe anything that comes out of Andy Cohen's mouth. There is potential magic to be found in the other members of the Manzo/Laurita/Guidice/Gorga/Wakile clans, and I've decided to get the magic ball rolling with these six suggestions for what are to be surefire Bravo hits!

Full Disclosure: If/when any of these do become actual series I want a full creator/producer credit and/or my own Bravo talk show Seriously.

6. Jersey Sisters
Starring Melissa Gorga's Sisters

For some reason, I get the vibe that these two are really fun party girls, in the clubs every night, chasing after guidos, basically the Jersey shore girls but skewing a bit older. I also sort of get this Mean Girl vibe from them, so it would be fun to see them declaring war with some Franklin Lake bimbo with eyes on their man. And hopefully Melissa herself will make frequent cameos because I feel as is when's she not being Joe Gorga's love slave and trapped in the family mess, she could be a fun human being.

5. The Hills 2
Starring Ashley Laurita

I know, I know. Everyone hates Ashley and probably hates me for even suggesting she get her own show. I will say this, while I'm not excusing her behavior, I am around the same age as her and have an extremely similar parental situation as her so I get where she's coming from. She's not purposely trying to be malicious, she doesn't care! So why not send her to LA where no cares about anyone besides themselves? Why not let her star in the next version of The Hills? I am the biggest fan of the Hills and think of it as nothing more but beautiful, cinematic, poignant storytelling, but I have to call it out on being careless fluff. And that's why Ashley would fit in! I mean, honestly, this girl is the second coming of Audrina Patridge! Throw in some interchangeable blonde peoples, some hot guys, someone to start drama, and you will have the biggest reality sensation since, The Hills. And here's where it's a win-win for everyone: Ashley will be on her own, spending her own Bravo's money, and not mooching off of her parents and driving them crazy with her antics! Jacqueline can focus on making sure her two boys don't come out evil and actually feel appreciated. Everyone wins. Seriously, when your kids display no talent/ambition/work ethic, Reality TV is where you send them. Heck, it wouldn't surprise me if Ashley is smarter than we all think, and is purposely acting out to get her own show!

4. Boys to Manzo
Starring Albie & Chris Manzo and Greg

So I can't take credit for this one since it already exists as a webshow, but these three (and by these three I mean Greg with Albie and Chris serving as his straight men. Straight men. Ha! I made an unintentional pun) are comic gold. Get this show on the air already!!!

3. The Teresa Show
Starring Teresa Guidice and her daughters

With Juicy Joe facing ten years in prison and Teresa allegedly trying to have a son according to a story she sold to Life & Style (which is makes it that much less questionable) it's a perfect time to focus on Teresa. And what better way than with punishment. Teresa has come as as just straight up stubborn and bitchy when it comes to her issues with Melissa. Nothing would put her in her place more than forcing her to raise her bay bay devil children own her own, get a job that does not involve re-appropriating family recipes as her own and going years without the Juicyness that is Joe. The best part of it all, Teresa will be so convinced that she's winning by getting her own show, she won't even realize she's the butt of everyone's joke and the victim of of Andy Cohen's revenge. You know he's pissed he got tossed around like that. No one is supposed to know he likes that kind of stuff!

2. Lauren and Jackie
Starring Lauren Manzo and Jackie Warner

Get Jackie Warner to come in and help Lauren lose weight and gain a whole new life in the process! But first, let's find Jackie Warner. Where is she? Did she and Andy have a falling out or does he just not need her anymore now that he's gotten rid of that gut. Regardless, it's perfect cross network synergy. And speaking of network cross promotion:

1. The Real Singing Star of Bravo.
Starring Melissa, Countess LuAnn, Kim Zolciak and heck, even Simon van Kempen.

This one is genius! It is a smash and I know it. Put Melissa, LuAnn, Kim and Simon in a recording artists' Boot Camp, where the winner gets a million dollar recording contract! Have Kandi be the host/mentor and include a challenge where the contestants from Platinum Hit have to write a song for them. If that's not exciting enough, then this should be: Play up the boot camp aspect by making them have to share a bunker in the middle of the desert, make them wake up at the crack of dawn to do physical and vocal exercises, completely rework their images and then finally make them put together entire mini-concerts - crazy wardrobe, lights, backup dancers and all - which America will use to vote and determine who wins! How's that for being on Display?